I win some days and I lose some days, but I grow with every step and it does get easier. Gone were the days of running to a bottle or pill when life intruded on my version of reality. For 11 years, alcohol and drugs were the only things that I felt I could trust.
Why no dating 1st year sobriety
Not only from death, but from a life of “existence”.
I was talking with a dear friend near the end of my first year of sobriety, and I was sharing with him that I didn’t know if I was really changing my life around. Death was something that I had actually searched for.
In that first year, in the rooms of AA, I met other people who had been down the road that I had been down, and they offered to do one thing for me. They were going to tell me what their life was like before they came to AA, then tell me what happened to make them change, the path they took, and what kept them going. If I wanted, they would be there for me, but ultimately, it would be my arm that lifted the bottle or pill to my lips.
They would share with me their experience, strength and hope. This is the first time I truly felt at home, the first time I felt that someone understood.
For the first year of my sobriety, every day I lived in fear.