I wanted the sensation and not the sexuality of it.
I started the site in January after I got tired of not finding what I wanted in all the sites online. it seemed to me that the gist of the articles–taken as a whole–was that sex is integral to a bdsm relationship….however, most bdsm relationships contain many other dimensions in addition to the sexual For me, in the beginning sex and BDSM were not the same, I was exploring and playing outside of a committed relationship, casually and did not want sex to be a part of it.
most of our relationships probably involve the spiritual, psychological, emotional realms (should i include practical also? well, as luna has pointed out in some of her articles, there may be differences between solely online relationships and in-person relationships…
Laura Goodwin (the first essay) said that it was absurd to think that sex and BDSM are separate things, that the whole reason we invite BDSM into our lives is for the sex.
If you enter a place and immediately outlandish demands are made of you, seemingly impossible tasks or expectations are established, it's time to take a second look!