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I’m both enormously sick and hard at work trying to pull myself out of the huge pile of work I’m buried in, so here are some thoughts I’ve picked up on dating and smashing Filipino girls for the past month. Yes, in a good number of cases, all you need to do is show up and not be a weirdo to get the pussy.

But Filipinas are far from stupid; they’re cunning and have their own share of stupid head games they play.

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English is one of the official languages of the Philippines, learning it is mandatory in schools, and the government favors it when it comes to written documentation.

While few Filipinos are 100 percent fluent in English, you can hold conversations with them easily provided you tone down your use of slang and ten-dollar words.

(I also later found out that she had hid the fact that she was a single mother from me.) This game is probably the most insidious as the girl doesn’t start fucking with you until just before your date, but there are plenty of others you need to look out for as well.

For example, if a Filipina starts whining at etc.), next her.

To the outside observer, it might seem ridiculous that I’m advocating cutting off contact with Filipinas the minute they show dishonesty or attitude.