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“It’s my favorite place in Dallas, because it’s all different types.” Gay couples. The woman next to her at the bar wore a tank top, jean cut-offs, and boots.

I stared at a Dallas beauty queen in a tiny black dress and stilettos.

I sat at a Starbucks near the Galleria with a friendly, fit black man (I’m white) who was recently divorced and lived in The Colony, which sounded to me like some eerie sci-fi TV drama. But he didn’t contact me again, and I never knew why. I was a real adult, a grown-ass woman, and he was in that shaky place where you have just emerged from the long tunnel of commitment with wobbly legs and blinking eyes, and you need to go bang 25-year-olds for a while.

He told me he liked the show , the unofficial bible for polyamorists, endorsed by “Savage Love” columnist Dan Savage.

One night, I sat at Cafe Brazil in Deep Ellum with a tattooed academic who had legs like chiseled stone.